I had enough of the nights that breaks me apart
Happy 5 years 11month
If only we are together
A part of you still lives in me. The whole years of effort put in the relationship was never easy. I couldn’t forget how you tried your best to hold on to everything but I just slipped away. Be it the happy moments or the saddest ones, it’s just the simple daily life we have gone through. The times spend together, the broken pieces we tried our best to fix. And ended up I couldn’t stay because I felt I had not much strength and feeling to go on. All I can say is I miss you
_’_ _____ ___ ______ ___ ____________ ___ ____ ____ _________ _ ______ ____ ___ _______ _ ______
The thought of giving up and losing you is unbearable. But I really didn’t have the strength to carry on. I don’t even know how to go from there. But I just can’t deal with it now.
Yes I fuck things up pretty bad. I couldn’t even know where I am going, what I want. I am selfish. I want my life, the thought of weighing my life and the importance of you kills me. I’m sorry but I really needed the time.
I often ask myself this, why did I choose to let anyone in and hurt me. Why did I ever gave them the chance to prick needles through my skin. I have my own decisions, don’t I? And yet I am still being so naive to think those people actually thought about my feelings. I’m living my life now doubting myself, living in many different world trying to accomodate with different people. Everybody wear masks but the mask I am putting on everyday worns me out. They just don’t know how much it kills me to be living this life, don’t they? So don’t ever ask if I am myself because I bet my life that I will never ever figure out who am I. People often see the side you show them, and I am lucky that they believed me.